Oct. 2006I was 22 weeks pregnant when we went into our ultrasound, that day way back in 2006, so happy & eager to see our growing baby. We were so thrilled when the ultrasound tech said,
"It's a boy." A boy! Oh, how fun! The gal took all the measurements and pictures and we just watched quietly, so thankful to be having a baby boy. At the end of the ultrasound, she says,
"Now, I found something. The brain ventricles are enlarged." HUH?
What?!!! That's not how this is supposed to go! My heart sinks and a dull ache enters as she tells us that she can't give us any further information, we'll have to wait to see the
Perinatologist the next day.
July 2008It was a dreaded wait until we saw the Peri, who indeed did confirm that the brain ventricles were enlarged.....but what does this mean? It could mean so many different things, he told us, so there was no way to tell us what the outcome would be. The baby may not even live to birth. But of
COURSE we'd keep the baby. No matter
what, we would keep the baby that God intended to send to our family. But my heartache grew. How do I wait out 4 more months of pregnancy
not knowing???!!
July 2009We went back for many ultrasounds, each one continuing to show growing ventricles. I always secretly hoped that things would have reversed themselves each time we went back. But no. The doctor said that it appeared that the baby possibly could have
Hydrocephalus, meaning there was a blockage somewhere in the brain causing excessive fluid to accumulate, and that shortly after delivery, the baby would need to have a shunt placed to drain the fluid. Because of this, we would be delivering at a hospital that was right next door to the Children's Hospital, where they could do this surgery.
July 2008
I prayed. I prayed and prayed. I had faith in God that
His will would be done and that whatever happened, I would have
peace. Prayer, my husband and family and friends carried me through the loooong pregnancy. And besides, we had a BOY to prepare for! All I had was baby girl stuff. I started crocheting a blanket
(ahem, it is yet to be finished), we started collecting necessities, there was a baby shower........and my darling 2 year old kept me laughing & optimistic.
April 2009The fear of the unknown got to me at times. But my rock of a husband was so completely
calm and
supportive, he comforted me (and still does) many a many a many a time! We believed that God would show us
miracles - maybe not in the way of miraculously having a "normal" baby, but that all would be well and
His will, and that we would be
HAPPY. Things changed. I started looking at life differently and noticing what was really important. Earlier challenges seemed so trivial now. I had my faith in God, my family, and an active baby boy growing inside of me.
July 2007
I was grateful for each kick & bump I felt the baby make, as well as the bond that mama and baby were creating. I wrote a special song and sang it to him often. Pregnancy is so amazing. And it was about to become even more trickier.
More of Bugg's story soon............
As if there wasn't enough anxiety going on with the pregnancy, I discovered that I was leaking fluid at 29 weeks pregnant. After getting checked at the hospital, they told me that my water had broke. Great. And that I would be life-flighted to the hospital. Shoot! And that I would stay there on bed rest until the baby came. Holy!!! This is all just too much! I remember wanting to bawl because I was going to miss my husband & daughter. So I get up to the hospital after a terribly motion-sick flight. I had another ultrasound and the amniotic fluid looked fine. They checked me - no, your water did not break but you've started dilating. Oh, man, those danged Braxton Hicks. So apparently, those things work on me super early. I WAS put on bed rest, but I did not have to stay at the hospital. Thank HEAVENS. We lived at my parent's house while I was on 7 weeks of bed rest. I made it past 36 weeks and then I was able to be up and about. The Bugg decided to sit tight, I guess. I was induced at 38 weeks because I was already at a 3. Good thing he was a couple weeks early because the guy weighed 8 lbs!
But just a couple of hours after delivery, I noticed his blue hands and lips. In the nurses rush and whisk him away......and then begins the quest of finding out what is up with this kiddo. His oxygen saturation levels were low as well as his body temperature. An ultrasound of the head showed Lobar Holoprosencephaly. What?!! Some people, the doc says, could have this and they don't even know it. Okay. So how will this boy turn out? Noooooo idea, no way of knowing. More sitting tight and holding on. (5 months later, we found out he did NOT have this diagnosis......we're still looking for one.) He also had an MRI done and it was discovered that his optic nerves were small and the Septum Pallucidum in the brain was completely missing, meaning Septo-optic Dysplasia. He may possibly have vision problems, they said, as well as a strew of other things that will need to be checked on a regular basis. It was also discovered that he was partially missing the Corpus Callosum of the brain, which is called Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. Oh, wow, all these terms. How will I ever figure all this stuff out?
Bugg spent an entire week in this isolette. I could only take him out for feedings. He had to maintain his body temp and learn to breathe without needing oxygen. The Hunk & I were so blessed to have a room at the hospital where we could stay 24/7. And our wonderful family took care of our daughter. We were able to give full concentration to our newborn. We saw many doctors, asked many questions, did lots of internet searching, said many prayers, grew very tight in our marriage, and even had a good experience despite the circumstances. For one, the kid nursed like a champ! No problem whatsoever (and continued for 19 months!) We had wonderful doctors and nurses, too. Family visited often and brought Meeskii - oh, how we missed her. It was odd to see our 8-pounder boy in a room full of premie babies.
Blessed day! After one week, this special boy was good to come home. We were so happy. And while there were still so many unanswered questions and the unknown loomed in front of us, we had indeed seen a miracle, with many more miracles to come.
No, that's not pudding.
This boy. He is so special.
A glorious song to sing for us all.
