they "found something"

Oct. 2006

I was 22 weeks pregnant when we went into our ultrasound, that day way back in 2006, so happy & eager to see our growing baby. We were so thrilled when the ultrasound tech said, "It's a boy." A boy! Oh, how fun! The gal took all the measurements and pictures and we just watched quietly, so thankful to be having a baby boy. At the end of the ultrasound, she says, "Now, I found something. The brain ventricles are enlarged." HUH? What?!!! That's not how this is supposed to go! My heart sinks and a dull ache enters as she tells us that she can't give us any further information, we'll have to wait to see the Perinatologist the next day.

July 2008

It was a dreaded wait until we saw the Peri, who indeed did confirm that the brain ventricles were enlarged.....but what does this mean? It could mean so many different things, he told us, so there was no way to tell us what the outcome would be. The baby may not even live to birth. But of COURSE we'd keep the baby. No matter what, we would keep the baby that God intended to send to our family. But my heartache grew. How do I wait out 4 more months of pregnancy not knowing???!!

July 2009

We went back for many ultrasounds, each one continuing to show growing ventricles. I always secretly hoped that things would have reversed themselves each time we went back. But no. The doctor said that it appeared that the baby possibly could have Hydrocephalus, meaning there was a blockage somewhere in the brain causing excessive fluid to accumulate, and that shortly after delivery, the baby would need to have a shunt placed to drain the fluid. Because of this, we would be delivering at a hospital that was right next door to the Children's Hospital, where they could do this surgery.

July 2008

I prayed. I prayed and prayed. I had faith in God that His will would be done and that whatever happened, I would have peace. Prayer, my husband and family and friends carried me through the loooong pregnancy. And besides, we had a BOY to prepare for! All I had was baby girl stuff. I started crocheting a blanket (ahem, it is yet to be finished), we started collecting necessities, there was a baby shower........and my darling 2 year old kept me laughing & optimistic.

April 2009

The fear of the unknown got to me at times. But my rock of a husband was so completely calm and supportive, he comforted me (and still does) many a many a many a time! We believed that God would show us miracles - maybe not in the way of miraculously having a "normal" baby, but that all would be well and His will, and that we would be HAPPY. Things changed. I started looking at life differently and noticing what was really important. Earlier challenges seemed so trivial now. I had my faith in God, my family, and an active baby boy growing inside of me.

July 2007

I was grateful for each kick & bump I felt the baby make, as well as the bond that mama and baby were creating. I wrote a special song and sang it to him often. Pregnancy is so amazing. And it was about to become even more trickier. More of Bugg's story soon............