Friday, January 15

they "found something"

Oct. 2006

I was 22 weeks pregnant when we went into our ultrasound, that day way back in 2006, so happy & eager to see our growing baby. We were so thrilled when the ultrasound tech said, "It's a boy." A boy! Oh, how fun! The gal took all the measurements and pictures and we just watched quietly, so thankful to be having a baby boy. At the end of the ultrasound, she says, "Now, I found something. The brain ventricles are enlarged." HUH? What?!!! That's not how this is supposed to go! My heart sinks and a dull ache enters as she tells us that she can't give us any further information, we'll have to wait to see the Perinatologist the next day.

July 2008

It was a dreaded wait until we saw the Peri, who indeed did confirm that the brain ventricles were enlarged.....but what does this mean? It could mean so many different things, he told us, so there was no way to tell us what the outcome would be. The baby may not even live to birth. But of COURSE we'd keep the baby. No matter what, we would keep the baby that God intended to send to our family. But my heartache grew. How do I wait out 4 more months of pregnancy not knowing???!!

July 2009

We went back for many ultrasounds, each one continuing to show growing ventricles. I always secretly hoped that things would have reversed themselves each time we went back. But no. The doctor said that it appeared that the baby possibly could have Hydrocephalus, meaning there was a blockage somewhere in the brain causing excessive fluid to accumulate, and that shortly after delivery, the baby would need to have a shunt placed to drain the fluid. Because of this, we would be delivering at a hospital that was right next door to the Children's Hospital, where they could do this surgery.

July 2008

I prayed. I prayed and prayed. I had faith in God that His will would be done and that whatever happened, I would have peace. Prayer, my husband and family and friends carried me through the loooong pregnancy. And besides, we had a BOY to prepare for! All I had was baby girl stuff. I started crocheting a blanket (ahem, it is yet to be finished), we started collecting necessities, there was a baby shower........and my darling 2 year old kept me laughing & optimistic.

April 2009

The fear of the unknown got to me at times. But my rock of a husband was so completely calm and supportive, he comforted me (and still does) many a many a many a time! We believed that God would show us miracles - maybe not in the way of miraculously having a "normal" baby, but that all would be well and His will, and that we would be HAPPY. Things changed. I started looking at life differently and noticing what was really important. Earlier challenges seemed so trivial now. I had my faith in God, my family, and an active baby boy growing inside of me.

July 2007

I was grateful for each kick & bump I felt the baby make, as well as the bond that mama and baby were creating. I wrote a special song and sang it to him often. Pregnancy is so amazing. And it was about to become even more trickier. More of Bugg's story soon............


  1. Oh, this is so neat to remember everything. I love all the pictures too. I love it all!

  2. How could you not just LOVE that sweet boy? I'm so glad you're sharing his story. And yours. He was meant to be yours.

  3. I had the same experience, except at 26 weeks and we had to wait over a week to see the specialist because he was out of the country. First they thought hydrocephaly, then agenesis of the corpus callosum. Then I got preeclampsia and they had to take her at 34 weeks. Then they said lissencephaly. Then at 5 months, they said she was fine. But we've come to realize that that wasn't the case either.

    The not knowing and the uncertainty are the worst part, I think.

    Now she's almost 7 and doing pretty great. OT twice a week, about a 2-year delay in some areas, and on-target in others. Last MRI showed that her ventricles are about 3x normal size (particularly in the emotional-control areas of the brain) and she has hypoplasia of the corpus callosum. Her name is derived from a Hebrew name that means "spared by Jehovah." He has special plans for her!

    We also homeschool. She's currently not happy that I'm making her do spelling. :-) COULD is a hard word!

  4. Becca also has enlarged ventricles, no corpus collosum and calcifications in her brain where it tried to repair itself and left little calcium build ups. The first thing we saw on an ultrasound was also enlarged ventricles and that her brain and head were too small... microcephaly. We got passed off by 2 hospitals that didn't want to give us bad news until the 3rd one finally said, "Yes, there's something wrong." But he (the radiologist) also asked if we were going to terminate and we immediately said NO! then he said the thing that helped me the most through the rest of my pregnancy. "Okay, then you need to remember that she is the same baby you came in here with... the same baby you are already in love with."

  5. That last picture is the CUTEST!!! Omigosh! I just wanna squish those little cheeks with a kiss!


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