a re-post from April 6th, 2009

Warm, glorious sunshine......it's been awhile. Our home was so full of light today, in every room. And it made me very happy! I think the sun knew that it needed to be bright and full on this particular day.


I woke up this morning to my Bugg having a seizure. Oh, I despise those things so much! He hasn't had one since SeptEMBER so we were feeling pretty hopeful that maybe he'd outgrown them. He has only had a dozen of them or so in his life, but each one has been quite miserably memorable. They are very subtle seizures - we have to really tune in on him to realize that he's having one. But....they don't stop. Which means we have to give him a medicine that whacks him all out. And even that rarely stops it. Which MEANS, a trip to the ER, where he gets doubly drugged, sometimes admitted, and he is just TOTALLy drugged and sad and poked and pathetic. This seizure deal is SO not my thing. Especially the first few - the poor guy has a couple days to get back to his "normal" self. But for me, it puts me back on the rollercoaster ride. I can deal with his delays (um, sometimes) but when it comes to health issues, well, I'm still trying to accept that one. But I guess I was sorta getting used to them. He would have one, we would deal with it, things would be fine, and on life goes. So today, watching him have yet another seizure, I thought, "Okay, GRRRRRR...but let's just get it taken care of." The doctor actually prescribed a new medication to give him during a seizure. We tried it and IT WORKED right away. And it was so easy - a simple nasal spray! Wow, listen to me: I never thought I'd be celebrating a seizure medication. But hey, I'm always trying to find some new way to celebrate! And especially when it comes to our special Bugg!!!!

Can you see why the sun played a most important role in my happiness today? Well, after his seizure stopped, I just held him and sang to him. Bugg was so calm and drowsy (a seizure is like running a marathon, they say, plus the meds on top of that - whew!) And I just lost it. Looking at this sweet, most perfect child, I thought about how precious his life is and how much I cherish him. I'm so grateful for him. He brings a whole different level of joy to parenthood. A happiness I seriously never knew existed. In those early days of finding out we were to have a child with very special needs, I wondered if I could ever have joy. Oh! how could I ever wonder such a thing?! He. is. AMAZING.



I must admit, though, that having the sun come streaming in on this day, heightened my joy. The light motivated me to make a good day out of what, otherwise, could have been a pity-party-day.

We planted some "forget-me-nots" in a little cup next to our Easter grass. I continued on in my search to find juuuuust the right yellow paint for my walls. The Hunk made us some delicious BBQd chicken for dinner. Meeskii gave a sweet Easter lesson for Family night. We had banana milkshakes. I tucked my babies snug and happy into bed. It was a good day afterall.



Now you can see why I gaze so admiringly and lovingly and JOYFULLY at my boy........in the sunshine!