Monday, December 5

the ultrasound

I had my ultrasound.
THE ultrasound.
Where we find out the gender!
And you know......
how everything is going with baby.

We took Mia out of school
so that she could join in on the celebration.
Sister or Brother?!!!
I couldn't decide what to wear.
So I wore blue & pink.
Including one pink earring, one blue.

I was so EXCITED!
Nervous, anxious, but mostly
crazy excited!!!!
Each time I've gone into THE ultrasound
to "meet" my babies,
I've been just so giddy.
Finding out if we're having a daughter or a son is
a pretty big deal!
And getting to see all their sweet growing babyness
is so precious & miraculous.
We've never cared what the gender would be,
and this time was just the same.
Boy, girl......either way would be an absolute lovely welcomed surprise!

Since I have a history of having a special needs child,
I get to go straight to Maternal Fetal Medicine
for an ultrasound with the Perinatologist.
That dreaded 5th floor where I had so many
ultrasounds with Wyatt,
hoping & praying each time that I went in
that something had miraculously changed back to normal.
But I'd done this trek with my last pregnancy,
Baby Ella,
and all had been well.
I was very excited!!! And slightly nervous.

Bugg's brain abnormality was just "lucky."
It's not familial.
Chances of having another baby with the same condition are super slim.
As I've been part of the special needs world,
I'm just amazed at how many things have to form for a typical baby to be born.
There are so many intricate parts to a body.
It just wows me.
And ultrasounds wow me, too.
Getting to see our little gem up on the screen,
moving around, sucking on fingers,
crossing legs just so,
making it difficult to get a good view at first.
I just wanted to laugh out loud!
And I did,
except that makes my belly shake too much.
It was so much fun and any anxieties I had were put to rest
as I watched our babe in black & white.

While I was there in the waiting room,
I couldn't help but think about the other mothers there,
what they must be thinking & feeling.
The grief, the confusion, unanswered questions.
I wanted to talk to them.
The doc had said it had been a bad day.
Oh! I just wanted to hug each one and tell them that,
no matter what happens,
they could still experience a wonderful & full life.
I've been astounded by the mamas
I've met that have embraced this special life and found lots of joy,
whether they got to keep their special ones or send them back to heaven.
I felt so lost, empty, & crushed each time I went to that 5th floor
with my baby Bugg in my belly.
I could have used a hug from someone who "got it."
But alas, I didn't have the courage to give out hugs
so I said a silent prayer for those special mothers.

We got some great pictures of baby
and I'm so glad that I could share
the experience with my husband & Mia.

We went out for donuts afterward.

With pink frosting.
Another girl!!!
Sooooooo happy!


  1. Yeah! Congratulations! I'm so excited for you guys. I have to say, though, that you mentioning the 5th floor brought back so many memories of going up there. What a crazy, confusing time. BUT, I'm so so so excited for you guys!!!! I hope to see you in March when we're out there again. Love you!

  2. Congratulations on another girlie! That is wonderful!

  3. Congratulations! I knew as soon as I saw the pink earring in your picture with Mia! I never had any ultrasounds on the 5th floor, but I know all too well the hoping that something would have changed, or that we would at least have an answer, and then the crushing reality with every ultrasound. I wish I would go give those mamas a hug too! Oh, I'm so happy for you. We need to get together, we really do. I need some joy in my life, it's been hard to celebrate anything this last year. I'm so happy for you, I have a fond spot for 3 girls. Especially 3 little girlies. :)

  4. Yay!! Three little girls and one little guy...sounds a lot like my house, four little girls and one little guy. Congrats!!! :)

  5. Congratulations on a beautiful baby girl!

  6. Great news! Congratulations on another sweet little girl!

  7. Fantastic!! Wyatt is your special boy! How appropriate that he will be surrounded by three loving sisters!! So happy for all of you! Yippeee!!!

  8. Yippee, another sweet girl to add to our family!!! So excited that Bugg will have so many girlies to look after him. Congrats!!!!

  9. Congratulations!!! This is exciting news indeed.

    I had no idea how many things could go wrong with a pregnancy until we had our ultrasound with Landon and the doctor was reviewing all the things that were just right. I would have been terrified if I'd known ahead of time there was so much to worry about.

  10. Awesome, congrat. and thanks for sharing all your thoughts amy webb

  11. How exciting! Congratulations!

  12. Oh we are tickled PINK for you!! HOORAY!

  13. Congratulations! That is so exciting. I think you eloquently summarized all of our feelings about the visits to the "special ultrasound" floor. I certainly remember our time there. I hope the rest of this pregnancy goes well. I'm glad you are feeling better.

  14. Yay! What fun! I think having all sisters makes Wyatt all the more special

  15. Congrats! How exciting! I love that Mia got to come along. And you are too cute with you pink AND blue tops. Love it.


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